Dearest Reader,

Similarly to Hamlet’s soliloquy “To be, or not to be, that is the question”… Introvert, or extrovert, that is the question I am posing today…

The idea of this blog post came to me on the tube today. I was on my way home from a fire marshal training I had the opportunity to sign up to through the project I currently work on. Loved the experience! I am a bit of a geek and a teacher’s pet! 🙂

I was reflecting on how the day had gone, what my takeaways were from the session and the following question came to mind: Am I an introvert or an extrovert? As far as I can remember knowing about introversion / extroversion, I always identified as an introvert.

Little high school psychology comes in handy now… who would have thought? Same goes for Pythagora’s theorem, determining percentages, averages, and cross-multiplications. I kept asking myself when will I ever need to know or apply these…? Well, it turns out that quite often in my day-to-day life! 🙂

Having said that, in high school, I was too busy figuring myself out, making sure I belonged, that I was accepted by my group of friends, not realising that it was ok not to be, what was I going to study in Uni, what was my journey going to be like and where am I going… I know… lots of thoughts… Things for me absolutely got better after high school but I digress… that’s a topic for another day 🙂

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines an introvert as “a person whose personality is characterized by introversion: a typically reserved or quiet person who tends to be introspective and enjoys spending time alone”, as opposed to an extrovert defined as “a person whose personality is characterized by extroversion: a typically gregarious and unreserved person who enjoys and seeks out social interaction”.

Psychologist Carl Gustav Jung first introduced the terms introvert & introversion, and extrovert & extroversion in the early 1900s. These would describe personality types depending on what a person focuses their energy on, i.e. the inner or the outer world. The terms introvert and extrovert have since become widely popular, synonyms with someone who is quiet or shy, and outgoing, sociable, or talkative, respectively.

Both personality types have qualities that make them valuable to society, as well as attributes that can be perceived as less positive. Extroversion and introversion are both good personality types and none is “better” or “worse” than the other.

However, what about those who don’t identify solely with one of these types of personality?

Cue ambiversion!

Although introversion and extroversion have long been considered as two opposing categories, new personality theories have accepted that it is more likely that introversion and extroversion are on a scale.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines ambiversion as “the personality configuration of an ambivert”: “a person having characteristics of both extrovert and introvert”. An ambivert is a person who finds themselves between the extrovert and introvert extremes, falling somewhere in the middle of the scale, feeling comfortable in social situations but they also enjoy spending time alone, with a good balance between outgoing and reserved behaviours.

The more I think about it and the more I looked into this, I now identify as an ambivert. I identify with the school of thought that an ambivert changes their behaviour based on the situation they find themselves in. For example, I may be quite introverted and reserved around strangers, but I will be more energetic, comfortable, and extroverted around close friends and family.

I feel that in my case, this transition from introvert to ambivert is due to my life experience. As I got older and got exposed to various experiences and situations, I learned not to be so reluctant when it comes to group situations, or sharing ideas, speaking my mind, challenging what other say if something doesn’t align with my core beliefs and values.

Let’s take the example of the fire marshal course today. I felt so comfortable being part of the conversation, contributing with my thoughts and sharing from my previous experience. I enjoyed the whole process, felt my mind was like a sponge absorbing all the knowledge the trainer was sharing with us, as well what the other students were sharing.

It’s also due to me constantly putting myself in situations which take me outside my comfort zone. I keep thinking that if I never try something, how will I know if it is good for me, is it something that I will want for myself or am I just going by this idea I formulated in my mind of what that situation / experience would be like. I keep telling myself that I would rather be sorry for something I did, than something I didn’t do. Regret is worse than the fear of failure.

I have been on this journey of self-discovery for many years. Starting my blog is just one of the multi-faceted layers of the journey. I have become more confident in my thoughts, my decision making and my actions. I feel that I am becoming a different person comfortable in my own skin, with the decisions I am making, not questioning myself repeteadly. The internal monologue is more often than not kind to me. I am starting to recognise all my achievements and don’t feel like an impostor all the time – see the impostor syndrome.

I am not going to lie…. It has not been an easy process, but it has been thoroughly worth it! Otherwise, what’s the alternative, right?!

Sending you all positive energy,

Miss B